that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
