I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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