I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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