So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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