I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
