she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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