wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
