remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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