Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
