My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
