What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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