i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
