Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
