and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
