All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
