OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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