My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
