Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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