Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
