Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
