"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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