Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
no you cant smoke seaweed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
