note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
