i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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