I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
