we're blogging at a bar
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
