man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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