Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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