You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
