no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
