I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
