I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize