I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
