Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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