Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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