Will you blow on my dice?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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