I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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