He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
