I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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