he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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