pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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