Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
