Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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