16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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