he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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