Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
