hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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