Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
