First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
