im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
