I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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