He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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