My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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