i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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