I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
