I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
