i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
