Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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