She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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