I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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