i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
